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Health and Personal Issues (Call on your friends)

Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 10:23 pm
by Nostalgiascape
Discuss Health Issues with me if you would. Currently my two problems on my plate are obesity, subsequent high blood pressure and depression. Who else is dealing with health issues?

Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 11:09 pm
by kallie0509
nos, do these things have a significant effect of your life? and what about the obesity, is it a large amount of weight, or just something that you could exercise and work off? i know that stress and depression can cause some people to not be able to lose weight. i have this problem. i've always had depression, but after gaining 70 pounds from pregnancy and having a baby, my depression got really bad, i guess with all the hormone changes and i still havnen't lost the weight. it's been almost 3 years since i gave birth and i really think that it's depression keeping the weight on me. have you tried some natural remedies for your depression? i too have depression and the panic disorder, i refuse to take meds though because i feel like it's doc's way of controlling me and i am very stubborn. anyhoo, i buy things like fresh lavender and chamomile tea for relaxation, i joined a forum with other people that have panic disorder (which made me feel alot better about things that were making me feel like i was going crazy) and deep breathing/meditation. my panic disorder is something that affects me everyday of my life, but i refuse to let it control me. hope this has helped. :D

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 12:41 am
by deadbride
Hey...Nos. Hadn't heard from you in a while and I hadn't sent you anything either.... :( Here is what's been going on familywise...My health issues are still major. They still haven't figured out my seizures. I go December 4th to the neurologist, but I have a feeling they are going to tell me it's all in my head. Oh well. Here's what's been going on (I copied my blog from my myspace).

Well This is kind of hard. I don't want everyone to think my husband is a total <deleted> but I need to get all of this down.

We've been together almost 20 years (come May it will be 20 years). In that time he's managed to hurt me plenty. Yes he's been abusive. I've always made excuses like a typical abused person and came back. I've made sacrifices and kept my marriage together. We have 4 beautiful special needs children and I wouldn't let all that go down the drain. He's managed to emotionally and physically abuse me. But I've always come back and made things better.

Well this time things weren't quite the same. I've been on medication and they had changed it so I was sick. But his state of mind had been deteriorating for the last couple weeks. Anyway...On Halloween (my most sacred day in the world) he called me and told me and our best friend, who was visiting, to get the hell out. If I didn't get the hell out of the house that he would throw me out of the house through the front door with it closed. I'm a very passive person and he's a very violent person and with his recent change I knew better than to take that chance. I knew he would never harm my children, so I made the hardest decision in my life and packed a few things and left. It wasn't quite that easy but I did.

Our best friend, Mac, who was here to help me with my haunted house (which didn't happen because I was so sick because of the change in my medicine) had driven his hearse here, loaded my stuff in his hearse and sat out on the yard with me while I cried holding my youngest son for almost 30 minutes before I could be pried away from him to leave. (Yes that was one long sentence.) I had to be out and gone before my husband got home from work. My oldest son is 17 and could take care of the other 2 boys for a couple hours so I wasn't worried. So I climbed into the hearse and left. Mac and I cried. The entire trip to Atlanta where I would be safe we cried. :cry:

My husband kept calling and texting me. But he doesn't remember all that. He came home from work found my stuff gone and realized that I'd actually done it. He never realized I'd leave the kids. But he gave me no choice. At least not in my eyes. So he tried to get me to come back, but I couldn't. He took a handful of sleeping pills and bottle of booze and tried to commit suicide, he told me he was doing this and he was giving our son the phone. So when he did, I told our son to call for rescue. Well after the paramedics left, he'd talked his way out of going to the hospital, he called me and bitched me out and said I didn't care. That I was just being a bitch and trying to put him in jail or hospital.

He didn't wake up until Friday, Nov 2. Then he went and changed all of his beneficiary stuff and took me off the insurance. Meanwhile I'd been on the run, trying to find someplace to stay a few days around Atlanta. The kids even though they were here with him, he hadn't been taking care of them, they didn't get to go Trick or Treating, our oldest son was just fixing whatever he could for them to eat. Which usually was ramein noodles. LOL Anyway Friday afternoon my hubby tried again to kill himself. This time the paramedics hauled him to the hospital. He had locked himself in the bedroom and called them himself. He had a guard on his door. And ended up volunteering to stay. He stayed for 6 days.

He's getting counselling, and going to AA. He never realized he has a drinking problem or drug problem. He always said "yeah I did this to her" but never really realized that he had been doing all these things to me. Yes granted he can't overcome all these things overnight but he has made leaps and bounds of changes in a short time.

I've agreed to come back at least for the short term and see if we can't make it work. On Sat. Nov 3, that night my "sister" called me and said that my son had emailed her son and basically sounded suicidal. I asked her to email him and let him know I would be home in a day or so. But she said she would be here in 10 hours to get the kids. They needed to be in a stable environment. I was flabbergasted. She's a great friend and I told her, I would be home not to worry. She wouldn't take no for an answer. So I discussed getting home with my friends and we managed to come up with the money to get me home that night. I was home by 1:30am Sun. Nov 4. She arrived, 8 1/2months pregnant, at 7:30am Sun Nov 4. We went to the attorney at about 9:30am and got power of attorney papers drawn up and the 3 boys were on the way out of the state by 11:30am. My oldest, my daughter is living with her boyfriend, so she is safe. She is 18 and one great young lady.

So as it stands, he was released from the hospital on the 6th and we've been to counselling. He has more appts. But he has made major progress already. I've got a backbone. Our finances are in ruin. We will let the kids stay with my "sister" until things here are stable. We've set a small goal of February. If it looks like we are still making progress in February we'll stay together and go get the kids. If it looks like we aren't making any progress, then when we get our income tax money we will use it and file our bankruptcy and divorce. And there won't be any major hard feelings about all of this. We are keeping our eyes and options open from here on out. We both know all of this. This probably sounds harsh to some people but it is the best for now.

Thank you for reading, I just had to put all this down in writing.

The only other thing is that I didn't get Halloween. My most precious day. I did get a 300 mile, in 2 days, trip in a 73 Cadillac hearse. But I was so sick, I couldn't set up my haunt, then we couldn't take the boys out trick or treating in the hearse, so my Halloween was ruined. Sounds petty but you all know that Halloween is the biggest holiday for me. :cry:

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 2:48 pm
by Nostalgiascape
Holy Hell Deadbride. Let me save you the suspense. It will not get better permanantly. Once he has you and the kids back, he will return to his old ways. He is dangerous. He could kill you. You NEED to start thinking about a life for you and your kids without him. Seriously.

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 10:03 pm
by ooga_booga
IAWTC.

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 12:39 am
by Succub'Oz
Ohhhhhh, Deadbride, I'm soo, so sorry. You don't know me, cuz I'm fairly new but I know of you through OEJ. I'm so sorry you are going through all of this.

I have to concur with Nos on this one. OEJ and I just watched another friend of ours go through something almost identical. Her husband had been getting abusive and it just escalated until he sent her and her daughter to the hospital. To make a long story short, she picked up her kids and moved from New York state to Oregon. I know your husband is trying, but it seems he's awfully unstable. And say he gets better for awhile, you'll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop, you can't ever let your guard down. And there's been many, many cases of suicidal husbands taking their wives down with them. I know everyone would be just devastated if that happened to you. Just know, no matter what you have many friends here.

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 2:07 am
by One Eye'd Jack
DB..............


I am so..............
Speechless....





My heart is truly broken in reading your story.........












I'm so sorry.

I'll pray and send as many positive thought your way as possible!
God bless you hun!

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 2:27 am
by Dutchess of Darkness
Hey deadbride, I'm so happy to see you've posted I've been really worried about you darling :D I'm so sorry to hear you're still having seizures and medication problems, and I'm sure all the emotional stress isn't helping you any.
I'm very sorry to hear about the problems with your husband. You've been together for so many years I can totally understand why you've seen things through this far, love knows no boundaries, and when we vow to love somone forever unconditionally through the good times and bad life can be a very rocky road. I'm not going to pass judgement either way on what you should or shouldn't do since my own personal life experiences which have been many have taught me plenty. I'm not walking in your shoes and because I think what you're going through is such a personal journey that each person will decide what is right or isn't right for themselves. I'm glad to hear that he's attending councelling now, and I sincerely hope that he continues to make major progess for all of your sakes. Hopefully he really wants to change which is the critical key in his way, all of you have a long hard road ahead of you especally when Alcohol, drugs, violence and mental health issues are complicating matters. You've made a great deal of sacrifices over these years it must be very difficult for you to know what decsion to make, especally when you're not well yourself, I'm glad to hear though that you have your eyes and mind on other options which offer hope, as so many feel trapped and can't see any other options, but it sounds like you do and this is great. What a trying time for you and your family though my lord woman. I do hope that you have someone you can turn to at any given time with everything being so unstable. And I'm glad you know that you can come here and talk with us anytime, feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk, I'm here to listen.. And remember that you are cherished here and please keep in touch "when you can" as you know many of us will be concered and wanting to know how you and your family are doing, keep safe & well, my thoughts and many prayers go out to you and your entire family .

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 2:50 am
by Dutchess of Darkness
Hey Nos, I will get to replying to your topic here in regards in myself another time, as coincidentally my health is so poor right now I'm afraid these last few posts have all but cooked me for the night. I can't stay up for long periods of time it seems lately and its really frustrating as you guys are in so many ways my breath of life, but I will reply when I'm up to this challange as this topic really will require much energy. Thanks so much for sharing though & I'm glad you created this topic for everyone :D

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 8:15 am
by ooga_booga
Anway, here are my personal issues: I have severe Asperger Syndrome (on a scale of 1-10, I'm a 6 or 7), (and it's not mental retardation btw!) I have chronically blocked sinuses, I'm 50kg overweight, and I have anxiety issues (especially in public, and small overcrouded spaces).

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 11:32 am
by halloweenqueen
deadbride...im so very sorry to hear about the problems you've been having with your husband. please know that we are here anytime you need to talk. you can pm me if you need a one on one talk with someone.

my health issues...im overweight as well. i started losing weight in dec of last year and since then have lost ~50lbs. I feel so much better since then but still have more to lose before I can really consider myself a healthy weight.

migraines. i got through periods when they are more frequent than others. i haven't had a really bad migraine in a few months now though.

allergies. doesnt seem like a big deal but my allergies really are a pain for me. this time of year is especially hard with pollen count going up and the weather here in houston fluctuating so much. i fighting off my 4th sinus infection/bronchitis the year right now.

back. i have a slipped disc in my lower back. I also have pinched nerves in my lower back and up by my shoulder blades. Im in constant pain from it though I try like hell not to let on too much around friends and family. I know people get sick of hearing about my back hurting. most of the time when someone will ask how my back is doing, i just say its ok and move off the subject. my dr suggested sending me to a surgeon last year and i refused. im not having surgery so there is no reason for me to pay the specialist co-pay and even talk to one. There are times when I move and literally get paralyzed from the pinched nerves. Luckily though, the last time it happened, it didn't last long.

acne. I hate that Im a 26yr old woman and have freaking acne. I can get my skin clear for very short periods of time and then, low-and-behold I'll get a horrible break-out, just over night. and it takes FOREVER for my skin to heal and clear up from that. its a constant battle and a constant stress for me.

i have a very mild case of anxiety too. this is a fairly new thing as I've only experienced my first anxiety attack a year ago. Since then I've had probably about 10-12 attacks. i take xanax as needed for them but i dont like taking it cause it makes me so sleepy. im a single mother and if im knocked out like that at home and my kids (they are 3 and 7) need something, im going to be useless. so i rarely take xanax for it.

i think that pretty much wraps it up...

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:17 pm
by Nostalgiascape
ooga_booga wrote:Anway, here are my personal issues: I have severe Asperger Syndrome (on a scale of 1-10, I'm a 6 or 7), (and it's not mental retardation btw!) I have chronically blocked sinuses, I'm 50kg overweight, and I have anxiety issues (especially in public, and small overcrouded spaces).
Anxiety is hell. I really feel for you.

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 4:13 pm
by kallie0509
i just want you all to know that i'm sending out positive energy and thoughts to you all who are going through a tough time right now. love and peace be with you all. :)

Re: Health and Personal Issues (Call on your friends)

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 4:00 pm
by deadbride
Thank you for all your prayers and wishes. I know everything will work out fine. Since he won't be reading any of this, I'll let you all know that come February we will be getting a divorce most likely. And probably shortly after that I will be marrying Mac. And please don't think that Mac had anything to do with my husbands breakdown. It was the financial stress and his job. My husband pushed me into alot of things over the years including what was going on with Mac, which he knew about and was present for. We are trying to work things out, but trying to make them work and them working are two entirely different things. My health is still bad but we will have to just deal with it. My kids will be back home by the end of February. The therapist said Christmas was too soon. So we will bring them back when we get the income tax money like we planned. Thanks again everyone. Blessed be!

Re: Health and Personal Issues (Call on your friends)

Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:00 pm
by magickbean
Wow, can I just say that I am so sorry to hear of everyone's health problems, and deadbride - that is a trully terrifying story. You poor thing!

I would love to say that I am a healthy individual, but that would be lying lol. Most of my health problems are mental health issues - such as bipolar depression and General Anxiety Disorder. I also have acute bouts of insomnia and ed-nos (eating disorder not otherwise specified) but it has been suggested that these are all linked and they all feed off of one another.

Physically, I have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) which is very embarassing but crucially affects every day of my life. I have to be careful what foods I eat and what drinks I drink and it also flares up in periods of stress or anxiety. Therefore, pretty much everyday lol! I still don't know what it's like to not have stomach cramps or stomach upsets all the time. I also suffer from migraines, although not anywhere near as much as I used to when I was a teenager.

Other than that it's just the odd aches and pains from old injuries etc. As I see from everyone else's posts - things could be a lot worse! ;)